Before I gave my performance One Arrow, One Heart Wednesday at the Seattle University's graduate cohort gathering, I had some concerns about what I would take into my meeting with my VP at work.

You see, recently, I was invited to apply for a job as the Director of Training for a non-profit, one whose mission is about values, vision and voice was very near and dear to what matttered to me - about people living and acting out of their own sense of personal values and leadership principles.

I felt that if someone was writing me to apply for a job, that I should also be asking mself if there was anything that I wanted to do at the company where I currently work.

A little background about the work that I am currently doing.  I've been working on this project for the last year and a half. it's beeen an amazing opportunity to flex my creative visioning with stakeholdersa nd interested spartners about the way managers can learn and support each other in the workplace.

So, my boss felt that it was time for me to have a one-on-one with my VP. I thought the timing couldn't have been better. As the days have approached this meeting, my thoughts have wandered about what the conversation would be about, what I would say, and more importantly, about what I really wanted.

At the end of my performance on Wednesday, there were many questions from the graduate candidates. I am so grateful to each person who asked me a question because they helped me voice what mattered to me. Not tthhat my answers answered my question about "what" I wanted, but it got me in touch with my heart. And, I think that's just what I needed before this meeting.

The morning after my show, I woke up at 4am to catch a 6:30 am flight. As I was getting ready, I heard a voice say "what do you really want?" And, I silently answered -- I want to speak and teach. I want the flexiblity to work from any city, so that if I have a keynote in the evening, I can still do that. I want to teach inside of the company so that I become more confident leading group discussions. I want to see my current project through because I belive that there is much that can still be accomplished to make it really meaningful.

As I boarded the airplane and sat in seat 20 F, a window seat in an exit row because I had arrived early enough, I made the following notes:

• I pursued the field of Human Performance Technology (HPT) because I've always believed in the potential of a person. It's why I coached swimming for so many years. I learned through my gradute program in HPT that human performance was influenced by factors (job design, motivation, expectations, capacity, knowledge/skills, incentive, feedback, environment, etc.).
• As I learned about all the various apects that affect human performance, I came across an article talking about the missing factor: character, which is one of the reasons why I am in the field of leadership development.
• I also have come to learn through leadership programs, that I have helped to or independently designed, that emotion was a very significant motivator on human behavior. I belive that the person's resons for wanting something, the why, was the most important and also usualy given the last amount of time.
• Also, because as a designer, I have been in the back of the room when new programs were delivered, I really wanted to return to what I loved about coaching being on deck, being in charge, and having the responsibility for the development of my swimmers, as a person and as an athlete.

This is what I wrote before I met with my VP yesterday (Thursday), only a few hours before the plane landed. Tomorrow, I'll write what happened.